Are You the Right Therapist For Me?

By Jenivee Akalis LCSW


So, you may have thoughts like "Life shouldn't feel this hard" , "Nothing ever changes", "I cant live like this for one more day, but don't know what to do". You may have also thought "I could try therapy" or "maybe now is the time for me to do something different." However in the next passing thought you say, "but I don't even know where to start?" or  "how do I find a therapist that works with my issues or that I connect with?". Then thoughts follow with defeat such as,  "Ugh, is it even worth it?" or "cant I just keep on dealing with my problems like I have?"

This is an all to common battle someone starting therapy has. They are ready to start, but then the logistics of finding a therapist seem too time consuming and overwhelming that they start second guessing the importance of starting therapy.

Life can be painful enough at times, that finding support to heal doesn't have to be a painful process. Here are a few tips to help get you started.

1- Word of mouth-Start off talking to trusted friends or family members. Have they seen a therapist? Did they have a good experience with anyone?  Have they heard of someone that someone else had a  positive outcome? Since each relationship is unique, what was a good fit for some one may not be for another, but a referral is always a good place to start.

2- Research on the internet- We have so much information at our finger tips through the internet, and it is a great resource. Be specific in your search for what you are needing help on. Keep this thought in mind, if  reading their description online of how they practice doesn't sit well with you that is a good indicator that they may not be a good fit for you, and that is okay. There will be someone who is the right fit. You want to find someone who specializes in what you are struggling with. For example, if you have struggled since having a baby and think you are struggling with postpartum search for a therapist that specializes in postpartum versus depression. If you are struggling from a  traumatic experiences that happened to you, find someone that specializes in trauma or PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)  and uses EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) versus anxiety. If you are part of the LGBTQ community and are looking for a therapist, look for one that is an LGBTQ affirmative therapist, as they better understand understand the impact of homophobia on their clients lives.

Having a good idea of what you are wanting help for and your needs will allow you to navigate the many therapist you come across in your research. If you are going to put in the time and effort to work through hard things find someone from the start that can meet your needs instead of referring you out to address your specific issues.

3- Contact your insurance- If you are looking online and you feel there are too many options with your insurance and you don't know where to start, call your insurance. Their representatives can help try and find a therapist in your area or someone who specializes in the work you would like to do.

4-Relationship- You finally found someone who you think meets your needs, you like what you have read about them, and their area of expertise is what you are wanting to work on.  The next thing that will determines if your therapist is the right fit for you is...the RELATIONSHIP you have with your therapist.  According to research, “it is clear that the #1 determining factor in whether or not a client gets better from therapy is based on how strong their relationship is with their therapist. If you don't like your therapist, you're not going to get better, regardless of how well-trained they are.”

I personally tell clients "Give me six to eight weeks, if at the end of that time you are not getting what you need or you don't think we are a good fit lets talk about it and I will refer you to someone who can better meet your needs." I personally ask for that time frame to really get to know a client, let the client get to know me, and get comfortable with the process. Just remember though, you are the one in charge, and if you truly feel like it is not a good fit, and you are wasting your time waiting the six to eight weeks, talk about it sooner and get a referral. It is in our ethics to do what is best for our clients.  If that means referral you to someone else who is a better fit, well than that's what an ethical therapist will do.

Regardless of where you are in the process of wanting to seek therapy I hope this blog helps give a little direction on the process and how to navigate it; and if any of our therapist seem like a good fit for you, please give us a call.